Gods, Myths and Heroes - Part 22

Egyptian Gods

Today we look at a weird homoerotic myth from ancient Egypt called "The Contendings of Horus and Seth."  But first we need a bit of background.  We start with the most famous Egyptian myth, the story of Isis and Osiris.

The gods Isis, Osiris and Seth were children of the earth god Neb and the sky goddess Nut.  Above is a statue of Isis suckling her son Horus, who will come into the story later.

This is Osiris, husband (and brother) of Isis.  He was also the ruler of Egypt.  In those days, according to the myth, Egypt was ruled by gods.

This is Seth or Set.  He had the head of an animal that doesn't correspond to any real creature; scholars call it the "Set animal."  It has a long snout and strange elongated ears that are squared-off at the end.

In the myth of Isis and Osiris, Seth kills his brother Osiris and cuts him up into 14 pieces, which he throws into the Nile.  This is a modern drawing of Osiris cut up into pieces.  If you count them, there are only 13.  Isis went looking for the pieces of Osiris and found 13 of them, but the 14th piece, Osiris' penis, had been eaten by a fish.  (I am not making this up.)

Isis put together the 13 pieces and made a replacement penis out of either wood or gold (sources differ).  Then she brought Osiris back to life.  She had sex with the resurrected Osiris in the form of a bird, hovering above him, as shown in this carving from the temple at Dendera.

That carving has deteriorated, so here is a drawing of it, showing Isis as a bird hovering above the new penis of Osiris.

Despite being brought back to life, Osiris was not allowed to return to the land of the living because his penis was missing (apparently having a penis is a requirement for successful resurrection – who knew?), so instead, he was sent to become the ruler of the land of the dead.

However, the fake penis apparently did its job, because Isis got pregnant and bore a son named Horus.  Horus had the head of a falcon.  This statue of Horus was among the treasures found in Tutankhamun's tomb.

That brings us to the myth "The Contendings of Horus and Seth."  Since Osiris was gone, the question was, who would be the ruler of Egypt?  After he got a bit older, Horus, Osiris' son, claimed the throne, but so did his uncle Seth.  A group of nine gods called the Ennead was called upon to decide.  They put the two claimants through a series of bizarre tests.  In one test, the two claimants, who were both gods, had to change into hippos to see who could stay underwater the longest.  Isis, who favored her son Horus, interfered in this test by poking the hippos with a spear, so the result didn't count.

These tests went on for years.  One night, Seth had sex with his nephew Horus.  It was intercrural, which means he stuck his penis between Horus' thighs, not up his ass, like the gif above that I got from the blog Big Whack Attack.  Thanks, Pat!

I told you this myth was homoerotic.  But wait, there's more!

When Seth came, Horus caught Seth's semen in his hands.  He then showed it to his mother Isis (really?), who cut off Horus' semen-covered hands and threw them into the Nile marshes.  Apparently Horus grew new hands – he was a god, after all.  But wait – there's more!

Horus masturbated into a cup and gave it to his mother Isis (really?).  She went to Seth's gardener and asked him what Seth liked to eat from the garden.  The gardener said Seth ate lettuce from the garden every day.  So Isis took her son Horus' semen and spread it onto the lettuce.  Later, Seth ate the lettuce with Horus' semen on it.  (I am not making this up.)

When the two contestants came before the Ennead, Seth said that he had "done the male's work" on Horus, i.e. he had fucked him.  We should note that, like the later Roman Empire, Egyptians didn't have a concept of a man being homosexual.  It was all about who was the dominant partner.  It was fine for a male to have sex with males, as long as he was the top.  A bottom was a person of low status.  So, Seth was claiming that he had topped Horus and therefore deserved to be the king.

Horus said that Seth was lying.  The gods called for Seth's semen to identify itself, and it replied from the Nile marshes where it had been dumped.  Then the gods called for Horus' semen to identify itself, and it replied from inside Seth (because he had eaten it on the lettuce), which made it look like Horus had fucked Seth rather than vice-versa.

Eventually the gods decided that Horus had won the competition, and he became the ruler of Egypt.  Apparently Horus and Seth must have kissed and made up, because later they were shown cooperating, like this statue of the Pharaoh Rameses III being attended by both gods, c. 1190-1070 BC.

It seems that the ancient Egyptians had a thing about sex and lettuce.  Later we'll see another Egyptian god associated with erections, virility, and lettuce.  Stay tuned.