Vintage Military - Part 82

 General Patton Pissing into the Rhine

By the spring of 1945, World War II was nearing its end.  Allied forces were driving back the Nazis in Europe, and American forces were recapturing territory from Japan in the Pacific.

On March 22, American General George S. Patton's engineers constructed a pontoon bridge across the Rhine river and sent a division across.  Crossing the Rhine was highly noteworthy. It meant that the Allies were now driving into the heartland of Germany.

The next day, Patton walked halfway across the bridge, unzipped his fly, and proudly pissed into the Rhine while a photographer recorded the moment (above).  Patton claimed he hadn't urinated that morning so as to have a full bladder for the event.  "I've been looking forward to this for a long time," he said.

The stream of piss was edited out of officially published press photographs, but you can see it above.

Here's a somewhat better photo.  You can see the stream of piss, now at a different angle, and I think you can see the end of Patton's penis.

Afterwards, Patton sent a dispatch to Allied Supreme Commander General Dwight D. Eisenhower that said "I have just pissed into the Rhine River. For God’s sake, send some gasoline."  (He needed gasoline to keep going into Germany.)

It turns out that Patton wasn't the only one.  A couple of weeks earlier, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill visited the first areas on the western edge of Germany to be occupied by the Allies, including the famous Siegfried Line that Germany had built to defend itself.  Above, Churchill (at center) and his generals among the "dragon's teeth" of the Siegfried Line that were meant to keep enemy tanks from crossing.

With a childish grin of satisfaction, Churchill pissed on the dragon's teeth.  However, Churchill forbade any photographs of the event, whereas Patton made sure he was photographed pissing into the Rhine.  Churchill pissed on the Siegfried Line to show his hatred and contempt for Hitler and the Nazis.  But I don't think Patton pissed into the Rhine in contempt of Germany.  Rather, I think he was marking his territory: "I'm here. Now this is mine."

Allied forces continued pushing into Germany, while meanwhile the leadership expired on both sides.  U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt died on April 12, to be succeeded by Vice-President Harry Truman.  And Adolf Hitler committed suicide on April 30.

Germany surrendered on May 8, 1945.  Japan kept fighting until the U.S. dropped atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki; then Japan surrendered on August 15, ending World War II.