Ads - Part 62

Posters part 4

We continue our mini-series on ads in the form of posters featuring nude males.  Today, posters from the 1930s and 1940s.  Above, a poster for a Swiss spa, 1930s.

A 1931 falconry gathering in Split, Croatia.

An anti-Fascist poster from the Spanish Civil War, 1936-1939.

Poster for the British Empire Games held in Sydney, Australia in 1938.

World War II (1939-1945) brought a series of nude or partially nude U.S. posters.  Above, apparently this guy has been cleaned out at poker, literally losing his shirt (and everything else), but "You can't lose with a GI bond."

A World War II poster telling soldiers not to waste water.

A World War II poster from the U.S. Public Health Service.

A World War II poster from the War Department showing soldiers taking a shower.

We end with a 1943 pro-Nazi poster from German-occupied Norway, showing a happy family on a nude beach under the Nazis versus death under the Communists (symbolized by the red star).

Naked Farmer - Part 39

State of Nature

We continue our series of photos posted by the Naked Farmer, Ben Brooksby, a young Australian farmer who posts photos of naked Australian farmers on social media sites. The naked photos are to get people's attention, and his message is to encourage people with mental health issues like suicidal thoughts to talk about it with someone and not to hide it away. Ben himself had suffered from panic attacks in school.

Farmers send Ben naked photos of themselves from all over Australia.  I organize the photos by which Australian state they're from.  Today's photos did not specify which state, so I call them "state of nature."

The photo above was labeled "The rush before the storm."  Gotta get it done!  No time to get dressed!

This one was called "Two cockies having a crack."  I don't speak Strine, but although I can't see their cockies, I see some nice cracks.

This one was called "Udderly ridiculous."

Here's a beautiful view.  And the scenery is nice, too.

This was labeled "Ute needs a new tray."

Wading in his secret spot.

Wading up to a waterfall.

Another wader.  Interesting that all these waders are wearing hats.  Apparently without their hat ...

they feel naked.

We end with "Two moons."

National Condom Month

National Condom Month

February is National Condom Month.  I got this image from Big Whack Attack.  Thanks, Pat!

As a public service, here's a video by Brent Corrigan on how to use a condom ... and he doesn't just tell you, he shows you.

Bodybuilders - Part 15

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Hiking - Part 62

Sherwood Forest

Remember Robin Hood, the medieval English hero who robbed the rich to give to the poor?  He and his band of merry men lived in Sherwood Forest.  Sherwood Forest is a real place in England, and these days, it's a nature reserve with hiking trails.

In 2021, a local man complained that groups of men were walking naked through Sherwood Forest and demanded that it be stopped.  Above, a naked hiker in Sherwood Forest.

The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (RSPB), which manages the forest, said that naturists had been walking naked in quieter sections of the forest for decades, and it was perfectly legal.  In particular, naturists have long used a portion of the forest called Budby South Forest, which is primarily heath, not woods.  Very few people visit Budby, so naked hikers have not been an issue there.  The RSPB did ask naturists to try to avoid the more heavily utilized trails in Sherwood Forest.  Above, a hiker in Budby in 2020.

A guy named Marcus walking in Budby South Forest in 2024.

Naturist groups organize group hikes.  This is a group called Sherwood Forest Naturist Walks.

A mixed-sex group in an open area, presumably Budby South Forest.

Walking along the edge of the woods ...

and in the forest.

This guy calls himself TotallyBear.  Here he is in the open Budby South Forest area ...

and here he is in Sherwood Forest.

We end with a quote from the book The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood by Howard Pyle, 1883: "It is not the size of a man's body that makes him great, but the size of his heart."

South Pacific - Part 13 of 13

You've Got to Be Carefully Taught

In the movie, the theme of racial prejudice is directly addressed in this song.  Lieutenant Joe Cable sings it to Emile de Beque to explain why nurse Nellie has rejected de Beque and why Joe himself rejected the girl Liat whom he loved.  He sings that prejudice isn't born in you, it's taught to you.  The message of this song is as valid today as when it was written 75 years ago.

Although You've Got to Be Carefully Taught isn't the last song in the musical, I've moved it to the end to make a statement.  I only changed the words in two spots, to make the song about prejudice against gays, not racial prejudice.  But the message is the same, and it's just as important as what the original song was telling us 75 years ago.  We don't have to hate.

That's  it for my version of South Pacific.  I hope you enjoyed it.

South Pacific - Part 12 of 13

Dites-Moi

Toward the end of the movie, Lieutenant Joe Cable and Emile de Beque go on an intelligence mission in Japanese-held territory, and Cable is killed, leaving Liat broken hearted.  Nurse Nellie realizes that what's important is not her silly prejudice against Polynesians but her love for de Beque.  This is shown by her singing the song Dites-Moi with de Beque's French Polynesian children, whom she is now taking care of.  De Beque, returning from his mission, joins the song, and (we presume) they all live happily ever after.

My version of the story is a little different.  Cable doesn't get killed.  Instead, he returns and reunites with Bloody Mary's son, Lee, and they live happily ever after.

Meanwhile Nelson still thinks that his love for de Coq is hopeless because de Coq has children, so he must be straight.  In my version of the song Dites-Moi, which is in French, like the original song, de Coq confesses to Nelson that he loves him and that he's gay, too.  Having cleared that up, they can live happily ever after.

South Pacific - Part 11 of 13

My Girl Back Home

The 1949 Broadway musical South Pacific was ground-breaking because one of its themes was overcoming racial prejudice.  Even though Lieutenant Joe Cable loves the Tonkinese (Vietnamese) girl Liat, he tells her he can't marry her.  Why?  Because he comes from upper-class Philadelphia society and Princeton.  In that world in the 1940s, marrying an Asian girl was socially unacceptable.

Similarly, nurse Nellie Forbush rejects her suitor Emile de Beque when she finds out that he has two children by his former Polynesian wife.  Nellie comes from Little Rock, Arkansas, and the way she was brought up, anyone who isn't white (like a Polynesian) is black.

In the song My Girl Back Home, Joe and Nellie sing about how different things are in the South Pacific from what they left behind back home.

The original lyrics start like this.  Joe sings:

        My girl back home, I'd almost forgot

        A blue-eyed kid, I liked her a lot

        We got engaged, both families were glad

        And I was told by my uncle and dad that if I were clever and able

        They'd make me a part of a partnership

        Cable, Cable and Cable.

Note that even in the original, Joe is at best lukewarm about his girl back home ("I liked her a lot").

In my version of the story, both Joe Cable and Nelson Forbush are struggling with sexuality, not with racial prejudice.  Joe always thought he was straight, but now he's fallen for Bloody Mary's son Lee.  Nelson loves Jack de Coq, but he thinks Jack must be straight because he has kids.

For my version of My Girl Back Home, I used some of the visuals of Cable singing from the movie, but, of course, I changed the words.  I couldn't use the visuals from the second verse with the female nurse Nellie, so I added my own second verse to expand on Joe's days at Princeton, and show that maybe he's not as straight as he thinks he is.

Note: there actually was a Princeton tradition called the Nude Olympics that involved students running naked around a courtyard after the first snowfall, but it didn't start until the 1970s, and I only have grainy video footage of it.  I substituted a clip of a similar nude run at Harvard.

South Pacific - Part 10 of 13

Honey Buns

In the movie, nurse Nellie stars in a stage entertainment for the troops.  In the song Honey Bun she sings about her sexy girlfriend Honey Bun, played by a soldier in drag with a grass skirt and coconut shell breasts.

In my version, Honey Buns, nurse Nelson persuades his new muscular lover Jack de Coq to portray Honey Buns for the troops.

South Pacific - Part 9 of 13

Happy Fuck

In the movie, after Lieutenant Cable and Bloody Mary's daughter Liat get it on, they rejoin Bloody Mary and she sings Happy Talk about a happy boy and girl in love with each other.

Well, by now you should know how my mind works.  In my version, Happy Talk becomes Happy Fuck.  The first verse of the original song is

        Happy talk keep talkin' happy talk

        Talk about things you like to do

        You got to have a dream

        If you don't have a dream

        How you gonna have a dream come true?

Naturally, in my version that becomes

        Happy fuck keep fuckin' happy fuck

        Doin' the thing you like to do

        You got to make him cream

        If you can make him cream

        He will think that you're a dream come true.

South Pacific - Part 8 of 13

Young, Dumb and Full of Cum

Meanwhile, in the movie, Lieutenant Joe Cable gets a boat ride to the mysterious island Bali Hai.  Upon arriving, Bloody Mary leads him to a little hut where he finds her lovely daughter, Liat.  Bloody Mary had been planning this all along – she wants Lieutenant Cable as a son-in-law.  No sooner has she left the young couple alone than they're all over each other. Since it's a family movie, we don't see anything X-rated.  Instead, he sings Younger Than Springtime to express his feelings for her.

In my version, Bloody Mary has already hinted to Lieutenant Cable that he might not be as straight as he thinks he is.  He gets a boat ride to the island of Bali Gay, where Bloody Mary leads him to a little hut where he finds her son, Lee.  Bloody Mary leaves them alone, and, since this isn't a family website, in my version, Younger Than Springtime becomes Young, Dumb and Full of Cum.

South Pacific - Part 7 of 13

A Wonderful Guy

In the movie, after nurse Nellie Forbush has "washed that man right out of her hair," it only takes one kiss for her to fall head over heels for Emile de Beque, as she sings in A Wonderful Guy.  Same thing with my nurse Nelson "you can call me Nelly" Forbush and Jack de Coq.

The original song starts: "I'm as corny as Kansas in August."

Here's Nelly's version:

Note: thanks to my friend Jerry (Vintage Muscle Men) for the idea of hiding Nelly Forbush's name in the lyrics.

South Pacific - Part 6 of 13

I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair

In the movie, nurse Nellie doesn't fall for Emile de Beque right away.  As she shampoos her hair, she sings I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair.  In the 1949 Broadway musical, Mary Martin washed her hair onstage for 8 performances a week.  Of course, Nellie wasn't naked as she washed her hair onstage or in the movie.

In my version, nurse Nelson feels the same way about Jack de Coq, but for a different reason.  Nelson has a history of falling for straight guys, and he's determined that it's not going to happen again.  And, if he's washing his hair, we should see him in the shower, right?

Note: I only changed a few of the words in this song.  For example, where the original words said "If you root for different teams," I changed it to "If you bat for different teams."

South Pacific - Part 5 of 13

Some Enchanted Evening

Time to meet another principal character.  In the movie, it's Emile de Beque, an older, wealthy French planter.  He meets nurse Nellie, and it's love at first sight, as he sings in Some Enchanted Evening.

As the original lyrics say,

        Who can explain it, who can tell you why?

        Fools give you reasons, wise men never try.

In my version, the guy who meets our nurse Nelly is Jack de Coq, and he's only a little older than Nelly and more muscular than Emile de Beque ever was.  Here's Jack de Coq's version of Some Enchanted Evening.

South Pacific - Part 4 of 13

Cock-Sucking Optimist

There are two love stories in South Pacific.  We've already met Lieutenant Joe Cable.  The other story involves nurse Nellie Forbush.  Nellie's first song in the movie, showing us her outlook on life, is A Cockeyed Optimist.  

In my version, he's a male nurse named Nelson "you can call me Nelly" Forbush.  Well, I couldn't resist making my version of the song A Cock-Sucking Optimist.  Obviously, the video clips accompanying the song are not from the original movie.  But, as naughty as my version might be, I still wanted it to show Nelson's optimistic outlook that someday he'll find Mr. Right.

South Pacific - Part 3 of 13

Bali Gay

In the movie, newly arrived Lieutenant Cable runs into Bloody Mary, who sings Bali Hai (the most beautiful song in South Pacific, in my opinion), about a mysterious nearby island where his dreams will come true.

In my version, Joe Cable always thought he was straight, but Bloody Mary sings that he might discover something else if he visits the island of Bali Gay.

We start with the introduction sung by Bloody Mary in the movie.  Then I change the song to instrumental music with my new words as subtitles.

Note: The 1958 movie South Pacific used weird colored filters during some of the song sequences (e.g. everything would be tinted purple or yellow or whatever).  The filters were not subtle.  See the screen capture below from the beginning of the song Bali Hai.  Yes, it's really that color in the movie.  These horrible color effects are universally hated by critics and audiences everywhere.  I don't know what the movie makers were thinking.  The colors were especially bad in the song Bali Hai, changing from purple to orange to no filter to red to purple.  I tried to fix the colors in my video editor, but there's only so much I can do.  So, if the colors look "off" in places, rest assured that it looked much worse in the original movie.

Despite the filters, which were only used during a few songs, the movie is a classic and is well worth watching.

South Pacific - Part 2 of 13

There is Nothing Like a Dick

In the movie, the men at the base, frustrated by the absence of females, sing There is Nothing Like a Dame.  In my version, There is Nothing Like a Dick, their frustration could easily be remedied if they would just look around them.

Note: for those interested in how I made these videos, some of them were a challenge.  Here's what I did for There is Nothing Like a Dick and many of the other songs:

1. I had to find a video of the original song from the 1958 movie.  Luckily, most of the songs from the movie are available on YouTube.

2. Because I changed the words, I couldn't use the soundtrack from the movie, so I had to make my own soundtrack.  I had to find an instrumental version of the song with no voices.  In many cases I was able to use a karaoke version of the song.

3. Then I needed to supply the voices.  Using the Finale music composition program, I created a composition for men's voices matching the original song.  Finale has a great built-in sampled-sound synthesizer that generates very realistic sounds for all kinds of instruments as well as tenor, baritone and bass voices (among others), but they are wordless voices that just go ah-ah-ah.  I don't have software to actually sing words.

4. I then put together the three tracks: video, instrumental audio, and voice audio, plus the subtitles, using the iMovie video editing program on my Macintosh.

5. Now came the hard part.  The three tracks were all playing at slightly different speeds.  I needed to get them all in sync.  I changed the tempo of my voice composition in Finale until it matched the tempo of the karaoke music.  But the resulting combined audio was still playing at a different speed than the movie video.  That meant the audio singing didn't match the video movement of the singer's mouths.

6. Luckily, iMovie lets you change the speed of the various components of the video that you're creating.  If I changed the speed of the music and voices, that would change the pitch of the music, which is no good.  Instead, I adjusted the speed of the video track.  I only needed to speed up or slow down the video by a few percent, which is not noticeable, to make it synchronize with the music and voices.

7. Whew!  Like I said, it was a challenge.  Some of the other songs were even more challenging, because in some cases, either the original video or the instrumental music changed tempo in the middle of the song, speeding up or slowing down slightly, which made it almost impossible to completely synchronize everything.  I did the best I could, but if you see places in these songs where the video, music, and/or voices are slightly out of sync, please be forgiving.

South Pacific - Part 1 of 13

I'm reposting my 13-part series South Pacific, with videos that I created three years ago to retell the famous musical in a gay version.  I've made changes to some of the videos, including some revised song lyrics.

Why repost it now?  South Pacific was known for its beautiful music, but it was also notable for its story about love overcoming racial prejudice.  My version is about love overcoming homophobia, and I think for the next four years we may need some stories with that message:  love wins in the end.

The following is my original post from three years ago.

*          *          *

Buddy Holly is the Guy I Love

Today marks the beginning of a somewhat ambitious project.  A few months ago, as part of my "Not the Same Old Song" series, I did a version of the song There is Nothing Like a Dame from the musical South Pacific.  My friend Jerry (check out his blog Vintage Muscle Men) told me that he always thought someone should do a gay version of South Pacific.  I took it as a challenge.

For the next 13 days, I'm presenting my gay versions of songs from South Pacific.  The great music by Richard Rogers is unchanged, but I've altered the lyrics (with apologies to the spirit of Oscar Hammerstein II).  In some cases I've stuck very closely to Hammerstein's original words; in others I've put in references that you'll get if you know the original words, and in others I've made some substitutions that are quite a bit more naughty.

Because I don't have singers at my disposal to record my new lyrics, I have substituted wordless voices that I generated on my synthesizer, along with subtitles that you can follow along.  For some songs, I have used video clips from the classic 1958 movie South Pacific for the visuals.  For others (the more naughty ones), I have included some X-rated video clips.  You'll see.

I'm following the 1958 movie, not the 1949 Broadway musical, because the movie is the version that most people are familiar with.

*        *        *

We begin the way the movie begins.  The setting is a military base on an island in the South Pacific in World War II.  Handsome Lieutenant Joe Cable is flying in for a special mission against the Japanese.  The pilot points out some local sights, ending with "That's where the Seabees play."   In the movie, this dissolves into the Seabees singing the first song, Bloody Mary is the Girl I Love.  In my version, it's Buddy Holly is the Guy I Love.  The visuals of the Seabees dancing are from the movie.

The original lyrics are:

        Bloody Mary is the girl I love

        Bloody Mary is the girl I love

        Bloody Mary is the girl I love

        Now ain't that too damn bad!

        Her skin is tender as a baseball glove

        Her skin is tender as a baseball glove

        Her skin is tender as a baseball glove

        Now ain't that too damn bad!

        Bloody Mary's chewing betel nuts

        She is always chewing betel nuts

        Bloody Mary's chewing betel nuts

        And she don't use Pepsodent!

As you'll see, I changed the words, but I tried to make them echo the original as much as possible.  For example, it was a short step from "betel nuts" to "big ol' nuts."  And, although the original lyrics were sarcastic, I think the chorus "Now ain't that too damn bad!" is the perfect introduction to this gay version of South Pacific: I love a guy.  Now ain't that too damn bad!

Notes: 

1. Yes, I know Buddy Holly was after World War II, so the reference is anachronistic, but I liked the name as an echo of the original words.

2. For those who didn't get my reference to goober peas: they're peanuts.  Goober Peas was a popular Southern Civil War song, but it still would have been known during World War II.  The first published version of the song credited the composer as P. Nut.

Weighing In - Part 64

Kajan Johnson

Kajan Johnson, born in 1984, is a retired Canadian mixed martial arts fighter who fought in the lightweight division of the UFC.  On November 12, 2010 he was weighing in for a fight against Ryan Healy at MFC (Maximum Fighting Championship) 27, a mixed martial arts event in Enoch, Alberta.

Although he didn't strip naked for his weigh-in, Kajan, known as "Ragin' Kajan," was wearing underwear so thin and tight that he was showing quite a VPL.

The front view didn't leave much to the imagination.

And neither did the rear view.

Kajan won the fight.

Poem of the Day - Part 64

Hot Cross Buns

Here's my take on another old nursery rhyme.  SickoRicko, this one is for you.  And Big Dude, there are some dick shadows for you, too.

Hot cross buns!

Hot cross buns!

One a penny, two a penny,

Hot cross buns!

If you have no daughters,
Give them to your sons.

One a penny, two a penny,

Hot cross buns!