Larry's Fairy Tales - Part 10

 The Three Little Pigs

This is the next one in my occasional series of slightly altered classic fairy tales.  I found this slightly altered book cover on the blog holyicons.newtumbl.com.

Once upon a time there were three little pigs ...

and a wolf.

The three little pigs were all in the closet.  The first little pig built a closet out of straw.  (I found this photo on the blog Workmen and Rednecks.  Thanks, Laurent!)

The second little pig built a closet out of wood.

And the third little pig built a closet out of brick.

    One day, the wolf stopped by the straw closet of the first little pig.
    "Little pig, little pig, let me in, quick," said the wolf.
    "Not by the hair on my dicky dick dick," said the pig.
    "Well, that's just what I was coming to see you about," said the wolf, who was a smooth talker.  "If you let me in, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your you know what."

    "Why didn't you say so?" said the pig.  "Come on in."

The wolf huffed and he puffed and he blew the pig's you know what, but afterwards, the pig was still in the closet.

    Then the wolf went to the wooden closet of the second little pig.

    "Little pig, little pig, let me in, quick," said the wolf.

    "Not by the hair on my dicky dick dick," said the pig.

    "I love how you've fixed up the place," said the wolf.  "Are these hardwood floors?  If you let me in, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your you know what."

    "Oh!  In that case, come in," said the pig.

The wolf huffed and he puffed and he blew the pig's you know what, but afterwards, the pig was still in the closet.

    Finally the wolf went to the brick closet of the third little pig.  This little pig was the cutest one of all.

    "Little pig, little pig, let me in, quick," said the wolf.

    "Not by the hair on my dicky dick dick," said the pig.

    "I bet this place could be in Architectural Digest," said the wolf.  "And if you let me in, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your you know what."

    But the pig wouldn't let the wolf in.  His resistance was as strong as his brick closet.  The wolf realized that he was coming on too strong, and he had to change his approach.

     "Little pig, little pig, let's take it slow," said the wolf.  "Let me take you out to dinner and a show."

     So the wolf took the little pig out to dinner and then they saw "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"  They discovered that they both had a love of classic films.  After several more dates, the third little pig came out of the closet and moved in with the wolf, and they lived happily ever after.