Priapus
Did you know that the Greeks and Romans had a penis god? Priapus was a minor Greek fertility god, protector of livestock, fruits, gardens ... and male genitals. He was adopted by the Romans and was always portrayed with a permanent erection, sometimes gigantic (above). Today, the medical condition of an erection that won't go away is called priapism.
Above, a fresco of Priapus in Pompeii, the Roman city that was buried by the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius in 79 AD.
Another fresco of Priapus from Pompeii, this one in the House of the Vettii. Priapus seems to be weighing his penis on a balance against a bag of something (coins?). Note the basket of fruit at the feet of this god of fruit and gardens.
Priapus became a popular figure in Roman erotic art and humorously obscene literature. Yes, the Romans had porn.
The courtyard of the House of the Vettii contains a second Priapus, this one a statue.
Here's a Roman mosaic of Priapus dating to the 1st century. Again, besides having an erection, he is holding up his robe filled with fruit.
This marble statue of Priapus from the 2nd century also has an erection and a robe full of fruit.
A Roman bronze of Priapus from the 2nd century has a gigantic penis and some fruit.
This statue of Priapus dating from 170-240 AD is in the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston. It features – you guessed it – an erection and a robe full of fruit.
Some sculptors dispensed with the fruit, but never the penis. Here's Priapus holding what appears to be a snake, dating from the 1st - 3rd century.
This miniature bronze from Pompeii or Herculaneum (the other city destroyed by Mt. Vesuvius) shows Priapus literally with bells on.
This Roman statuette of Priapus is more rustic – stripped to the essentials, we might say – but it's unusual because it was found in Suffolk, England, an out-of-the way corner of the Roman Empire. Clearly Priapus was a favorite god everywhere.
This is the only representation of Priapus from the rear that I found. It's an illustration from the book Gargantua and Pantagruel by French author Rabelais in the 16th century, long after the Roman Empire. Here Priapus is conversing with the god Jupiter, and for some reason the illustrator gave Priapus a tail.
Understandably, artists have concentrated on Priapus' front, not his rear. We end with this bronze in the National Archaeological Museum in Naples, dating from the 1st century, showing Priapus applying oil to his erection. Yes, the ancient Romans used lube.