Larry's Fairy Tales - Part 11

 Beauty and the Beast

This is the next in my occasional series of slightly altered fairy tales.  I think my friend Franco at Vellohomo will like this one.

Once upon a time there was a young man named Beau.  He was so handsome that all the girls in the village pursued him, but he wasn't interested in any of them.

The villagers said that there was an enchanted castle deep in the woods where a horrible beast lived.  One day Beau went for a long walk in the woods, and the path led him to a stately castle.  Everything around it was wild and overgrown.

Beau knocked on the castle door.  It was opened by a man who was as hairy as a beast.

"What do you want?" said the Beast.  "What are you staring at?  Oh, that.  Well, you know, it has a mind of its own."

Beau laughed.  "Yes, I know.  Mine does, too."

(Note: I used Photoshop to put favorite unashamed male Daniel Ray Siller into the castle doorway.)

"I'm the Beast," said the Beast.  "Aren't you scared of me?"

"No, should I be?  I'm Beau, and I'm pleased to meet you.  Are you going to invite me in?"

"Sorry.  It's been a while since I had a visitor.  Follow me.  There aren't any servants.  It's a long story."

(Another photo of Daniel Ray Siller that I photoshopped into the doorway.)

"Long ago, I was a prince," said the Beast.  "I was a handsome young man like you.  I thought it would make me more attractive if I shaved off my body hair, so I did – underarms, pubes, everything."

"Suddenly an old man appeared.  He was my fairy godfather.  He said that shaving my pubes was a crime against nature, and as a punishment he cast a spell that turned me into a hairy beast.  If I shave off the hair, it grows back instantly, so I'm stuck with it.  The spell can only be broken if somebody loves me, and who would love a beast?"

(Note: the fairy godfather is San Francisco nudity activist George Davis.)

The Beast invited Beau to dinner.  "We'll have to cook it ourselves," said the Beast, "because my fairy godfather turned all the servants into candelabras and teapots and such.  They're totally useless.  That's why I had to answer the door myself.  Would you like to help me in the kitchen?"

"Sure, I'd love to help."

(Kitchen photo from Franco's blog Vellohomo)

Dinner turned out to be surprisingly good.  Beau enjoyed the stories that the Beast told him about the old days in the castle, and the Beast enjoyed hearing what was happening in the outside world.

After dinner, the Beast said, "Do you want to stay the night?  I'm going to take a shower, and then it's time for bed."

"I'd love to stay the night," said Beau.  "And I can help you in the shower, since you have no servants.  I'll wash your back if you wash mine."  So they got into the shower together, and it was a lot of fun.

(Photo from Franco's blog Vellohomo)

Then they went to bed, and they had a lot of fun there, too.

Beau stayed in the castle with the Beast, and they lived together and were happy.  But after a month had passed, the Beast told Beau, "You should go away and find someone else.  This is no life for you, living with a Beast who has been cursed."

"But ... but I love you."

Suddenly the fairy godfather appeared.  "The spell is broken," he said.  "All your servants are back again.  But as for you, Beast, I will give you a choice.  Do you want to be hairless again?"

"No," cried Beau.  "I love his hair.  Give him more hair."

So the hair on the Beast's chest grew thicker.  And his underarm hair grew thicker.  And his pubes grew into a virtual forest.

"Mmmm," said Beau.  "I love hairy men."

And they lived happily ever after.

(Photo from Franco's blog Vellohomo.  Thanks, Franco!)