Larry's Fairy Tales - Part 3

Cinder-Elvis

Starring champion runner Herb Elliott (in some photos) as Cinder-Elvis
and his trainer Percy Cerutty as his fairy godfather

Once upon a time, there was a young man named Elvis who lived with his cruel stepmother and stepsisters.  They made him do all the cleaning and dirty work around the house.  "Don't be cruel," said Elvis, but they just laughed and called him Cinder-Elvis.

One day, as Elvis was bemoaning his non-existent love life, a little old man appeared.  “I’m your fairy godfather,” he said.  “I can help you with your love life, but first, let’s work on your muscles.”

(Photo: Percy Cerutty by Leonard McCombe, LIFE photo archive, 1958)

    “Do you know how to clean and jerk?” asked the fairy godfather.
    “I do nothing but clean all day, and then I jerk at night,” said Elvis.
    “No, not that.  It’s a weight-lifting thing.”
    The old man showed Elvis how to do the clean and jerk, which may have involved some inappropriate touching.

(Photo: Percy Cerutty and Herb Elliott by Leonard McCombe, LIFE photo archive, 1958)

The prince of this kingdom was holding a ball to which everyone was invited.  Elvis’ stepmother and stepsisters went to the ball and left him behind.  “I’m all shook up,” said Elvis.  Then his fairy godfather appeared.

(Photo: Laurence Woodford, c. 1910)

    “I want to go to the ball, but I have nothing to wear,” said Elvis.  
    “You ain't kidding,” said the fairy godfather.  Then poof!  Elvis was wearing shoes.
    “That’s the best you can do?”
    “You’re right.  Oxfords, what was I thinking?  Let me try again.”  And poof!  Elvis was wearing blue suede shoes.  “Much better,” said the fairy godfather.
    “But … just shoes?  Nothing else?”
    “You want the prince to notice you, don’t you?  Trust me, my boy.  I’m a fairy.  I know these things.”

(Photo: early Bruce Bellas photo of a man with shoes)

    “Don’t I get a pumpkin coach or something?” asked Elvis.
    “Don’t be silly,” said the fairy godfather.  “Oh, one more thing.  Be home by midnight.  Don’t ask.  It’s a magic rule.”  So Elvis ran off to the prince’s ball in his blue suede shoes.

(Photo: Rice University streaker, 1974.  Shoe color added.)

    At the ball, the prince indeed noticed Elvis.  "I couldn't help seeing your ... shoes," he said.

    "A little less conversation, a little more action, please," said Elvis.

    The prince was happy to comply.

(Photo: two sailors kissing)

Then Elvis noticed the time.  “It’s midnight,” he cried.  And he ran off in such haste that one of his blue suede shoes came off and was left behind.  The prince picked it up.  “Return to sender, address unknown,” he told his servants.  So they set off to find the owner of the shoe.

(Photo: Archbishop’s palace staircase, Spain, 1925.  Shoe added in Photoshop.)

When the prince and his men got to Elvis’ house, the stepsisters pushed Elvis out of the way to try on the shoe, but the prince told them, “You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog.”  Then Elvis, wearing one blue suede shoe, put on the other shoe, which fit perfectly.
    “My boy,” said the prince.
    “Love me tender,” said Elvis.
    And they lived happily ever after.

(Photo: Herb Elliott, 1961.  Shoe color altered in Photoshop.)

NOTE: Australian runner Herb Elliott was the greatest middle-distance runner of the late 1950s and early 1960s.  He set world records, won Olympic gold, and never lost a mile race.  He credited his unconventional trainer, Percy Cerutty.  This little story is just in fun and is not intended to imply that either man was gay.  And of course, our use of the word "fairy" is also just in fun.